Saturday, September 6, 2008

The Kaiser

When I was a child, my imaginary friends were Donkey and Friend Lion. When I got my own house I started collecting real animals but then came the triplets and my "dogs became dogs" to quote John Mellencamp or David Crosby. I am not sure which. My only concession to this early obsession is my collection of 1960's or earlier mohair only please, under 7 " Steiff stuffed animals. As much as I love German engineering and Chanel, I am reluctant to add this $1500 Karl Lagerfeld inspired bear to my collection. I think he might say stuff like this to the others in their little glass bookcase and make them feel bad and/or confused:

KARL LAGERFELD: Imagine an astral Woodstock, pet. A DIFFERENT PLANE. I mean an EXISTENTIAL plane. Where are you? No: Where AREN'T you? I need to feel your elbows NOW. What AREN'T you wearing, you PISTOL of GLORY! A dolphin, that's what! Bloat is for sad people. DANCE! It's like I told Michael Jackson: "If you can't love your glove, then GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, and also, only floss with real unicorn hair."

Quote stolen from Do you think I could have made that up myself?